We all know homophobia is a big issue in the world at the moment and no matter what your stance on the matter, people should be accepted for who they are.
Sadly, majority of the time that’s not the case. It’s one thing to be looked and talked down to by strangers, but what happens when people who are supposed to be your friends do that to you?
That is the case with Ashley Cadwallader from a band named Smalls. Last night, Cadwaller quit the band after the homophobia within the group reached an all time high with members accusing her or being a “poser” and that she was riding the coattails of the latest trend of “being gay is cool.”
Oh yeah, did we also mention one of the members throwing insults is her ex-boyfriend?
Check out the full statement from someone close to the situation below.
As it has come out, my best friend, Ashley Cadwallader has quit her band Smalls tonight after her Long Island show.
Ashley has talked to me the past two months about this tour, often worried that things wouldn’t go as well as she’d hope after her coming out as gay to her friends, family, and bandmates. One bandmate being her ex. At points she was done, she was going to get up and quit the band because she just couldn’t do it because she was so upset at how her ex was treating her after the break up because he just couldn’t believe she was gay. I told her many times that things would be okay, that she has an amazing opportunity getting to do this tour with two really great and talented bands, and that she should try and stick it out. Ashley took my advice and went on the tour and has toughed it out the past two and a half weeks across the US.
All this made me question the advice I had given my friend. I would often get frantic phone calls in the middle of the night with her on the other end saying she was done, but I continued to tell her to keep going at least until she got out East.
Lots of people, even today, have to shelter the fact that they are gay. Often times by making themselves be in unhappy relationships in order to not lose the people close to them. It’s an incredibly hard step for many and to be told you’re not really gay and just confused is a huge slap in the face of the person that has come out. The same argument that is often used by religious fundamentalists is what was used against Ashley. Being told that you’re just confused about being gay just so someone can keep you around for their own selfish reasons is completely wrong. Even one of Ashley’s bandmates called Ashley’s current girlfriend an “experiment” as well as calling two non-heterosexuals in my band “poser gay.”
If you planned on going to one of the last dates of the current tour, please still do so as our good, good friends in On My Honor (who are one of my favorite pop punk bands and all around amazing musicians) are still playing and could use the support.